Home | Ebru Keskin | A City of Lonely Hearts

A City of Lonely Hearts

Ebru Keskin

Ebru Keskin

A City of Lonely Hearts

London-Paris-New York-Milan…and the rest of the world cities. We live in the busiest cities in the world with overcrowding and lack of space and yet our main problem is? Loneliness. Sounds familiar? Or perhaps you think you are not lonely at all? Sure?

Living in the city provides us with entertainment, shopping and amenities almost 24/7 but yet the vastness of the city can make us feel alone. Having been born in a small town and spent my childhood there I can tell you, that even without a local bank … police station…or petrol station…and with only 3 shops in total. We were never lonely. There was a sense of community, it seemed intrusive at times but when you bought cough medicine from the pharmacy a few days later you would get asked if you were now feeling better and had recovered. Buying something fancy from the market meant that the owner would ask about dinner plans and what was happening that is different .We knew pretty much everyone in our town and you couldn’t walk along the streets crying without the entire town running out to ask what was wrong. Town…well more of a tiny holiday village near the beach with a population that never reached 2000.

I now live in London with millions of people around me, simply the borough I live in has more people than the whole of Cyprus population and yet I seem to spend more time alone. Mainly because I live alone, I can sometimes find myself spending days without seeing a single friend or a loved one. Occasionally I think that is sad. To go to the shop and not be known to the Tesco workers, or walk down a road and no one recognises me. At times I see ladies walk by quietly crying, no one glances back or asks if they are ok. I myself have walked along many a road in my younger days…crying over some disappointment or heartbreak…unknown to anyone. Even those of us with hundreds of friends around us…who then have to send the children to crèches because no one is around to help when you need them, or who have to take cabs to airport because no one is willing to drive them…City people are always busy…even your friends who will come to exotic countries to see you marry; not going to be around when you get sick, their work schedule won’t allow for a visit at the hospital during visiting hours.  It’s ok though they will send you an e-card. That ought to make you feel cared for. No? Suddenly you realise just how lonely you are? Yes, we all are lonely in this big city. We don’t mean to be, we have such busy schedules. Yet we live such empty lives.

Anonymity can be good but leads people to live irresponsibly without any consequences to their actions. If you ask me it creates perverts and weirdo’s…men who feel it is ok to take advantage of the crowd. Things like that never would happen back home where everyone knows each other.         

There are so many choices and so much variety that people are spoiled for choice. People start picking partners based purely on looks and dropping them without a thought because there are no families or friends to face up to. There seems to be no moral consequences when living in cities. It makes us careless of each other’s feelings and be nonchalant when we shatter people’s dreams with disappointments. ‘I believe that the horrifying deterioration in the ethical conduct of people today stems from the mechanization and dehumanization of our lives. A disastrous by-product of the development of the scientific and technical mentality. We are guilty. Man grows cold faster than the planet he inhabits’ ~ Albert Einstein

 I now see why people are so keen these days to get into relationships, and why they cling on so tightly to the partners that most aren’t even 100% happy to be with. Even Alicia keys song notes that; ‘I want to give my all, baby, just hold me…Because your arms they keep away the loneliness’

Sigmund Freud said ‘we are all walking wounded’ it just seems that in the big cities the wound is even deeper.

"The plain fact is that the planet does not need more 'successful' people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every shape and form. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these needs have little to do with success as our culture has defined it." ~ David Orr (1990).  This statement hits a spot in my heart as it rings too true. We are too focused on our careers and having a smashing social life. What we don’t realise is that ultimately we all work and live for happiness. What we need is love and family. 

Maybe I am done with this city. This city filled with its lonely hearts and lonely people carrying sadness. I crave being a part of a community once again, I miss having an identity amongst the community. I think I am done with being anonymous.  I want to move away, somewhere coastline and sunny to make babies with some adorable hot guy. I want the life I was born into, maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea to move away. We are all built to live in the countries which we are natives of. It would be great to not have such frizzy hair once again. I can just imagine myself; sitting on a terrace having home-made wine looking over at my hot (younger) husband as he cares for the vineyard…topless of course 

comments powered by Disqus