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A million ways to love

Ebru Keskin

Ebru Keskin

There are a million people in this world that you could be happy living with. Honestly....it’s true. Yes there is the almighty search for The ONE but put aside the impossibility of finding  that ultimate soul mate for a minute and consider the fact that if you open your heart to it and approach it with an open mind then there are a million people you can be happy with. Learn a new language...this will open doors to new territories currently out of your reach. Get a new hobby, go out more, talk to strangers, smile to someone you like the look of...There are a million ways to find someone and a million ways to love.

You will find the perfect person as long as you are willing to. It’s the unwillingness that makes it hard to partner up. Its stuff about yourself that you don’t like, it’s not the potential candidates that you are shunning.  It’s the fact that you are not happy with yourself so you push people away. Once you are ready to accept yourself as you are or make changes to become the person you want to be then it will fall into place, suddenly it will make sense and you can find a partner easily.

Everyone is different so you may find a different love for yourself...So what is it that you want to feel? Is it the Eros love? A passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love? 

Or is it Ludus? A love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once? 

Or Storge? An affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity? 

Pragma? Love that is driven by the head and not the heart?

Mania? Obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers?

Or maybe Agape...Selfless altruistic love; spiritual?

Whatever it is that you are feeling it is good to be in love, it adds many colours to a dull grey life.

It’s so cheesy to be all hyped up about St.Valentines day but as I always say...whatever gets you on your knees to finally propose....or ask that special person out or be nice to your partner and treat them for the day. If you need a day to be declared special for that then so be it. Whatever creates the beauty is welcome, doesn’t matter how I guess. And that Love is! Beautiful.

Maybe it’s the spring approaching, maybe it’s me getting on in age and becoming sentimental, whatever out of this world power has me feeling this inkling of warmth for love, it’s there and it has me rooting for it for the first time in my life.

Yes the silly bunches of roses piled high at every shop are pleasing me this year...the red colours of everything has me swooning. 

And why not? Love isn’t like the movies; it’s much more exciting and earth shattering than that. Love makes you vulnerable, it makes you yield. It steps over your boundaries; breaks down those high high walls you built all your life. It’s that feeling when your heart skips a beat when you walk into a room and your eyes meet the eyes of a stranger for the first time and your heart screams yes yes yes that’s him that’s the one!!!   Love has the ability to give you energy after an entire night without sleep; it makes you smile like a silly idiot whilst walking down the road all alone just thinking about it. It’s that wonderful feeling of reaching over and noticing that the warmth in your bed is the body of that incredible person beside you...it’s that tender feeling of being pulled into someone’s arms mid sleep and the excitement that there are better options to sleeping...it’s that feeling of waking up with your lips still locked on someone else’s and realising that you didn't have the heart to break off kissing to sleep so you fell asleep after kissing for hours...Love is burying your face in their neck and simply being enchanted by their scent. At any time at any age at any turn of your life love is a new start and it’s the start of a new story.

If you are still searching then don’t give up, if you are in love then don’t give up on it, if you are falling out of it then have faith that you will find love again. Whenever you are in your life being in love or searching for it makes it all the more worthwhile.

Happy Valentines everybody!!!

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