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A girl crush

EBRU KESKİN

EBRU KESKİN

Several months ago I got back in contact with my dear friend Nurcan whom I hadn't seen in several years. Try as I may I could not remember why we hadn't stayed in touch, probably because she got involved in marital busyness and me being single was out and about too often. None the less it was great seeing her, felt just like last time we had seen each other. We had coffee and chatted about our lives and tried to catch up with it all. After having coffee and parting our ways I realised how much I missed being around her and made a mental note not to lose contact. We met up several times after that and on one occasion she had a friend visiting from Denmark whom I had met briefly several times. We hit it off and the three of us chatted all night, barely able to stay quiet more than one moment. Sometimes you meet people and it feels so right that they should be your friend. We exchanged contact details and maintained in touch with my friends friend and now my brand new friend Selcan. Via email, whatsapp, viber, skype, and phone and text we communicated. Each week it got more frequent. Eventually in one of my emails I wrote ‘Seems like we have been friends for years and I actually regret not having been your friend all these years’ she responded ‘Exactly!’.

Selcan is in a place in her life where she has realised a lot of hard facts about life and has turned it all into positive. She is peaceful, wise and very attentive. It was always soothing to communicate with her. Even people around us were all so happy that we became such good friends. For months she has been inviting me to Denmark but having such busy schedules we managed to arrange it for last weekend. She came to pick me up from the airport with another friend of hers and when we met up it was like we were family. We were both so excited about all the plans she had made for me that weekend, and everyone joked about me turning up with a couple bottles of champagne and that she had booked us into a hotel for when we went out.

We spent the whole day on Friday catching up and excitedly telling stories to each other. It never felt like someone who I had met only a few times. We went on some walks and talked about everything, it struck me as amazing that she had built such a beautiful life for herself and was so positive about everything in her life. I was sure places she mentioned were amazing and all her friends were fantastic as she said because I would see it all through her eyes and in her eyes it was all just that. She listened to my ideas and developments on the book I am writing and contributed an immense amount to the content. She inspires me no end and this is what probably drew me to her and draws me to others that I meet; the desire to live beautifully. We got all dolled up, being in Denmark which I now declare the most feminist country in the world we stood out a lot in the small rural area that is Brande. The ladies in Denmark do not make a statement with their looks or try too hard to be immaculate. All of them being blonde with immaculate skin they still look good and the younger ones are more glamorous but us being dark and different it felt like two exotic birds they were watching. We headed out to the second largest city in Denmark called Arhus for a night out. Selcan warned me that it would be nothing like London but I assured her that I didn't want it to be. Scandinavian life is so laid back, so cosy and very beautiful. It gave me peace to be there for a few days. Being clad in tight dress and miniskirts we did draw some attention from the boys but what I noticed was that they stood back and never approached, so used to the extremely assertive girls of Denmark who apparently ask men out themselves...This of course struck me as amazing, since I get called a feminist every day, it seemed like the ultimate heaven for me. After a while it appeared that this was not the case and suffice to say it (I don’t say mean things about girls) I am expecting a much better performance from the Denmark ladies in the next Olympics...and can vouch that it would be totally fair to have them compete against their male athletes...

On our night out I may have had a drink purposely poured on me by a lady who obviously liked it...I wasn’t even upset, I found it hilarious and was flattered that someone even found me threatening at all. In all honesty I think that women behave in a certain way because men set the mood for that by creating a competitive environment...also I was in their territory and since it is the ladies of Denmark who seem to be wearing the trousers it was appropriate that they felt they needed to ward off strange women away from their territory...Not that I was a threat because quiet men who are too worried to speak out is extremely off putting. Regardless of their hostility I found them charming and loved how in command they all were. Although I will admit that a lady should be a lady and not have to act like a man to be their equal.

On our night out we met several other Turkish people who resided in Denmark. Speaking to everyone I realised how friendly they all were. It seems that I am so lucky because I seem to always meet such amazing people with such great energy and vibe these days. By the end of the night I had hit it off with another girl, she was so intelligent, friendly and not at all uptight or competitive. 

This all made me realise that the ladies are the core of this earth; they are the glue that hold the world together. It is important to have good women in your life to support you, love you and help you mature into a good person.  After all it is women who can elevate you from one plane to another in social stature. It is always a good woman who can make a decent man out of a regular one and an amazing man out of a good one. It is petty to have competition amongst out own species, I believe that women should always be supportive of one another.

Going back to my girl crush Selcan, I think this is a friendship that will last a lifetime. All throughout my life I have always had these female friends that have been amazing. I can just recall primary school and my blonde little friend Hilal who had the sweetest demeanour and calmest voice just like an angel. Throughout my entire life I had been lucky to have had amazing women in it. Women like my sister who has always been kind, caring and thoughtful; like Yasemin who is forgiving, fun and on the same wavelength as me.  Melike who is so rock and roll that she brings uber cool to my life. Leila who I consider family and Selda who I long to be teenage girls with again just to live in that bubble we used to live in.  I have been lucky and blessed to have received so much care, attention, friendship and love from all these women....who me being so lucky are too many to name or count.

I appreciate beauty and am drawn to it. When people ask me if I have any good looking friends (that will be the boys of course) I always answer that all my friends are beautiful!

Women may not rule the world unfortunately but the ladies are definitely the force making it go round. Having solid, strong and loving women in your life is the key to happiness.

 

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