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Women on top

EBRU KESKİN

EBRU KESKİN

Last week on the train I was witness to a man who seemed perfectly fit that refused to give a seat to a heavily pregnant lady who was in a suit and no doubt going home after work. She was not even rude and did not ask him to give her the space. She stood and read the Financial Times instead whilst the arrogant man hid behind his paper on his way home to a cooked dinner and a clean house no doubt provided by his wife. I am fit and healthy so I don’t require men to be gentlemen by all means or offer me a seat but I do draw the line at elbowing me out of the way to get a seat that I was headed to by a guy. Following this incident and having observed much status updates by frustrated ladies who seem outraged by this behaviour which they seem to be witnessing all too often I wanted to express my opinion in it. Feel free to comment in the comments tab as your opinion is valued.

I wonder if there was some misunderstanding when women fought for equality. If men understood this to mean that we don’t want them to be courteous and polite to women in order to treat them equally. Once again we seem to have got the short end of the stick and so nationwide there seems to be a rise of the ‘new man’. This new man doesn’t give way, isn’t courteous, doesn’t offer to pay, doesn’t consider our feelings and yet wants to maintain their domineering role as the man. This is not a generalisation of all men. Just a new kind of man that we see often these days. A lot of guys complain that they are expected to pay for women on a date. This is another misunderstanding as we don’t expect them to pay all the time but generally speaking it’s the men who ask the women out and in my culture the person extending the invitation is responsible to treat their friend or lover. In any case I certainly don’t wait around for guys to pick up the bill and nor do many women I see all around me. If we were to argue the point then may I just point out that, whilst the man is THE MAN for picking up the £90 bill, no consideration is made of the cost of that evening to the lady who no doubt spends an average of £200-£300 on a date including getting nails done, new dress, shoes, manicure etc… You are surprised at this? Well don’t be because it is a fact.

Each time I argue that women don’t get enough opportunities, respect or equal treatment people tell me that most religions expressly dictate that women should be held highly and not hurt or mistreated and this makes me all the more furious! We are not an endangered species of an exotic bird.

If the claim is that men are physically stronger than women then I am game, by all means do allocate all the road sweeping and brick carrying labour jobs to the more than capable men! Women are better at management and there are plenty of board seats to fill with our complex and intricate minds. Men rule the world? This is only true by default as they are given the green light to do so, but let’s not forget that behind every successful man is the puppet master holding the strings. If you do not agree with that then have a read of history.

We are expected to perform well at work, meet deadlines, stay late and then go home to make the nest. Nest? Excuse me but men do far better with such tasks such as cooking and cleaning so they should be responsible for the majority of it.

Gender roles so often assumed can be comical such as it is a husband’s job to protect the wife. Err where do these guys live? In the wilderness? Protect from what? Lions? This also brings me to another issue of women’s safety because in fact it is usually men who threaten women’s safety. A woman’s sexuality is not up for grabs or there for the claiming. If men were raised differently these issues would cease somewhat. If we teach equality then the women would not be seen as a prey.

Men are stronger? Then how could you explain that it is a scientific fact that if men are subjected to 1/9th of the pain that a woman goes through when in labour they would pass out and possibly die? Do you want to compare labour to a kick in the groin? No, try pushing out a watermelon and then we are on equal ground. Epidural I hear you saying, yes but this is available in the modern parts of the world. Spare a though for the millions of women who do not have access to any kind of medical attention during birth. When I read that Tom Cruise had stated that Katie Holmes should not make any sound during labour so the child is not born into a stressful environment I felt furious. Kudos to Katie for filing that divorce to who is an obviously an arrogant, ignorant and selfish man.

Currently in a detail oriented and customer focused environment that we now live in it is becoming more and more essential to pay attention to detail and meet the ever growing demands of the customers in a very tough market. Possibly the toughest in history. During these times women dominate the marketing world because they are able to pay attention to the smallest detail, focus on the demands and needs of the consumers and able to market products and services efficiently. Each day you make decisions and buy gadgets based on the norm that is mainly dictated by women and presented to you as attractive.

As much effort as we put out each day not only do women earn less for doing jobs at the same level and quality as our thumb fiddling male counterpart’s ,majority of whom have no domestic responsibilities, but we are judged generally by our looks and appearance.

If a male colleague turns up to work having fallen out of bed and barely having made an effort to comb their hair this goes unnoticed. Yet when women look a little rough the comments are immediate ‘are you unwell?’ ‘Are you sick?’ No is the answer.  Just once in a while, out of the 365 days of the year, we have not paid so much attention to our appearance which frankly guys get away with every day.

Men have shown us their hand in the business world! It was the Lehman brothers who were directly responsible for the economic crisis which shook the nation that we are yet to recover from. Now it’s time to move over and give way to the ladies to make this a better world to live in. Each day at work women lose out on promotions based on facts such as being pregnant, married, recently engaged…It is unbelievable how many times I have heard such comments as ‘She doesn’t need a pay rise her husband earns well’ ‘She recently got married so soon she will be popping out the babies’ ‘Get someone pretty for the reception so the clients are happy’ and many more that I shudder to remember. It is now time to prove that women at excel at everything when not being judged constantly, subjected to so much abuse that most guys would be in the little boys room crying if they had to regularly face it. We can be pregnant, married, leading a company, doing laundry and still making sure all our deadlines are met. Men focus on work and work alone. A huge number of divorces are because men neglect their partners and children so much.

This isn’t competitiveness based on gender numbers game; it is about enriching the work force and establishing women as equals in this world. At some point in the past something went wrong somewhere and we got pushed aside, probably due to our caring and considerate nature. It is now time to right this wrong.

Women shouldn’t get to simply walk into roles in order to fill quotas. If the general attitude towards females in the office just simply changed then women would not be so reluctant to put themselves up for promotions. Also the fact is that men love praise and always front what was their team effort as their own success which I have seen so many times where as women tend to be more modest and share the glory. So really you wind up with a lot of cocky and arrogant colleagues who lead your workforce rather than humble and fair bosses who would not only consider the work place, profit margins but actually your wellness and job satisfaction at work. The government report on this subject has confirmed research that * strong stock market growth among European companies is most likely to occur where there are a higher proportion of women in senior management teams. Companies with more women on their boards were found to outperform their rivals with a 42% higher return in sales, 66% higher return on invested capital and 53% higher return on equity. Despite this evidence, women are under-represented on the company boards of UK plc. In 2009 only 12.2% of directors of FTSE 100 companies were women, and on the boards of FTSE 250 companies the proportion was just 7.3%.By 2010 these figures had moved to 12.5% for FTSE 100 and 7.8% of FTSE 250.*

Women can stand by alongside men and we can rule this world together. After all we live in it together. I don’t like living in a world where all the major decisions are made by men and I am presented with this idea of how I should live based on one side’s opinion. I am by no means a feminist; I think that we deserve a fair world. After all you wouldn’t make life changing decisions without consulting your partner so why should you live in a world where women are not consulted? So men should be gentlemen and stand aside and let us share the glory. Who would want to live in a world where women are ridiculed, judged on looks, beaten, raped and abused?

So what’s up boys? Not up for the competition that not only we can do it as well as you but we can do it in 5 inch heels and with immaculate hair?

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